October

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I don’t know why but lately I’ve been hearing a lot of people complaining about the availability of Halloween stuff in stores. This year the complaints are more heartfelt; the frustration apparent.

This completely baffles me. And here’s why:

I live in Houston. For the geographically challenged, that’s in southeast Texas. For most of the year the temperature is higher than 100 degrees and relative humidity hovers around 100%. The air is teeming with mosquitoes, almost year-round. It is not unheard of to be in shorts and a t-shirt and sweating on Christmas day around here. If it ever happens to snow, even for a few minutes, it shuts the city down. That’s how un-used to cold weather we are here. 8-9 months out of the year we live in a steamy, soupy, buggy swamp where the hot air is so thick, it’s difficult to breathe. Autumn and Winter, rather than being seasons, are simply waves of cool and cold fronts between hot days. Spring is just hot.

The day after Labor Day you typically see Fall-themed or Halloween stuff being put out at retail. That’s pretty common. And every time I see it it makes me happy.

It makes me happy because it’s a promise to the eventual end of 20+ consecutive days of triple-digit heat. It makes me happy because the holidays are coming and the holidays typically mean time off from work, seeing family, and getting food and presents.

Look, I realize that holidays are over-commercialized. If you don’t like that, then make your own costume. Make your own treats. Make your own decorations. Then take a picture of your creation and send it in. That’s why we’re here!

Oh yeah, and another thing, lady: Lighten up. Halloween is awesome.

i-chzbgr

Guest Post for a Great Cause: Tough Mudder for Wounded Warrior Project

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So, a friend of mine is training for the Tough Mudder race to benefit the Wounded Warrior Project and he asked if I would share a link and/or a blurb about it for him. Of course, I agreed. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought he needed more than just a blurb, so I asked if he wouldn’t mind having a full post. 

We have a lot of fun talking about the darker things here. The men and women who are helped by this charity have seen horrors we can’t even begin to imagine. And they stared them right in the face, willingly, so that we can do what we do every day.

Please take a few seconds to read Collin’s story, then click the hell out of the links below. 

I became aware of the Wounded Warrior Project shortly after I made the transition from the Marine Corps back to civilian life back in 2003. As it happened, I was one of the lucky ones in that was able to return home with no physical damage and my mind relatively unaffected. I also had a family to return to and a reasonably optimistic employment outlook. (more…)

Things they do in movies that drive me nuts

You ever been watching a movie and everything is running along just fine until suddenly one of the characters is faced with an earth-shattering revelation about life, the universe, and everything, and then their reaction is just… wrong? 

Or, say your suspension of disbelief is firmly in place and your mind is happily wandering through a fantastical wonderland but then suddenly midi-chlorians?

There are limits to our ability to go along with a story. Strangely enough, those limits are pretty far out there when the writer properly sets up the rules for the universe he puts the characters into. I don’t need to believe in magic to enjoy the Harry Potter series. All I need to believe is that magic is legit in Harry’s world and everything’s fair game.

But when the writer screws up it really bugs me. Here are a few of the most common things they do in movies and TV shows that drive me nuts.

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James from Survival Punk shows us how to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

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Hey Minions! Please welcome my friend James from Survival Punk! Here he tells us some real-world methods for making it through the inevitable zombie apocalypse. When you’re done with this article, go check out survivalpunk.com for more down-to-earth survival topics, gear reviews, and more!

Today I’m going to have a little fun. My goal today is to share some tactics to implore in preparing to survive a zombie apocalypse. But you say,  “James zombies aren’t real.” Well yes I know this but zombies are fun to think about. In fact zombies was a gateway drug into prepping for me. My life long affair with post apocalyptic and zombie movies. Something about them always drew me in. Other horror movies could not grab my attention. Zombies are a thinking mans monster. If you are a Tokyo pedestrian during a Godzilla rampage, well you’re screwed. Same thing with most other monsters. With zombies, though, the scenarios are always about people trying to survive. Zombies are slow moving and stupid with an all consuming desire to eat. We won’t delve into in this post but they represent many metaphors I will chat about over beers.

After years of watching the movies and thinking about what I would do I eventually stumbled onto a certain internet forum about zombie survival and went down the rabbit hole of survivalisim. I soon realized many of my “plans” were completely idiotic. Now that I know better I can revise those early plans. Today I’ll share some tips with you on how you can survive a real zombie apocalypse.

Dia De Los Meurtos: Tucson Style

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From the glaring eyes of a cd skeleton blasts pop music; Halloween music- music that gets the crowd stepping in rhythm, as much as a crowd can. There are ice sculptures shaped like bones, bones shaped into full skeletons, and skeletons masquerading as people. As I look out across the crowd, my own face painted a bright bone white, I see that I (in my all-black clothes and glow-in-the-dark skeleton tights) am, if anything, under dressed. At Tucson, Arizona’s All Soul’s Processional, there is no such thing as a Halloween costume—the creations on these bodies are months in the making and worn well after the holiday.

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Scarydad Rant

I need a hug.

My Nightmare Before Christmas project is giving me pains tonight. Literal pains in which my hand hurts from pinching it in a folding saw horse. But the pinching is not the problem. Crappy plywood is the problem.

Plywood is not cheap. Or rather, it’s not inexpensive. The last couple sheets I got, despite costing the same as it ever does, are damn cheap. It’s brittle and knotty and has a tendency to split or crack for no good reason. So, basically I’ve been working my tail off the past two evenings with the result of having a bunch of useless wood scraps and a half-ass looking Jack with no arm, hand, bow tie, or coattails.

I’m going to have to get a whole ‘nother piece of plywood and start over tomorrow afternoon. Which sucks because I had hoped to be done with that phase by now.

This is why I always suggest you start early on your projects. You never know when the hand you’ve been working on for an hour will decide to split off and shatter on the ground for no apparent reason.

Live and learn.

It’s Always On and Always Watching

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This is going to be some real talk about some real-life horror we all live with.

My first video game console was a hand-me-down Atari 2600, which was pawned off to me when my cousins heard about the NES. I had never played a video game in my life and my initial reaction was what you might expect:

“This is the future.”

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Interview with Alex Gianinni, Author of the Gothic Children’s Book: Sarah Faire and the House at the End of the World

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Back when Victoria interviewed Amber at Southern Gothica, you may have noticed the picture of the bear and the book. The bear is a character in a Gothic childrens’ book entitled Sarah Faire and the House at the End of the World. Now, I didn’t realize this when I was posting pics for that article. I just thought it looked cool. Well, Amber put me in touch with Alex, and he and I chatted about Sarah Faire.

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No Post Tonight. Doing Stuff.

Hello there. This post is meant to inform you that there will not be a post tonight. This is because I am busy making things to inspire, and amaze you and I can’t be two places at once. I know some of you cannot survive a Monday evening without a new post from Scarydad, so that’s why I made this post explaining the lack of a post.

I don’t want you to die. Yet.

 

I hope you understand.

First signs of Halloween

Blurry like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot. But I assure you it's real!
Blurry like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot. But I assure you it’s real!

I was in a Walgreens today and saw the first signs of eventual October. I don’t think you people realize how happy this makes me. It means several things.

First, that I’m that much closer to the end of another deadly summer of sweating and heat and murderous hatred for the world and everything in it.

Halloween DecorationsSecond, that frickin’ HALLOWEEN is looming and that means projects and parties and scary movies and dark beers and cigars and caramel apples and candy and costumes and makeup and renaissance festivals and turkey legs and outdoor concerts and pumpkins and pumpkin spiced coffee and pumpkin pie and new season of Walking Dead and the scents of latex and paint and plywood and Charlie Brown and Jack o’ Lanterns and ghosts and goblins and witches and devils and so much more!

Third, that I’m that much closer to meeting my little Spawn of Scarydad Part 2!!!

It’s going to be an awesome season. Projects will resume shortly!!!