Hello there my beloved. I trust you all survived the recent holiday? I’m sure your continued existence is due at least in part to the advice you’ve been receiving here. No, no; no need to thank me yet. We still have a lot of ground to cover and there still exist teeming masses bent on consuming your brain. You can thank me later, and in the meantime I’ll think of some acceptable methods…
But tonight we must learn together. Tonight we discuss fire.
Warning, this post contains the following: profanity, anger, logic, & adult situations. If you or someone you might have met one time are not able to handle the things listed above, you need to leave now.
Good evening Minions. I posted my find on Twitter last week so for some of you this is old news. For the rest, I found all three volumes of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz with illustrations by Stephen Gammell at Half-Priced Books for about $2.00 each. This is a good thing for too many reasons, not the least of which is that these books are flippin’ awesome!
I bought all three and scoured the store for any more. Unfortunately, mine were the only available, though I will keep an eye out in the future.
These books were scary as shit when I was a kid and I loved them.
But did you hear…
Hello Minions. This evening we continue our Zombie Survival Series so that when it all goes down, the only ones left will be us. Then we can rebuild society as it should be, with a lot more jet packs and a lot less Burger King.
As we prepare for the inevitable holocaust, we must ensure that the gear we carry is useful, trustworthy, and as lethal as possible. Whether your attacker is reanimated dead or a run of the mill street thug, if it threatens you or your family, it needs to be put down.
Tonight we discuss the ultimate survival weapon for almost any situation. Tonight we discuss…
Good evening Minions. Recent events have awakened horrible memories and I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight unless I share them with you. Oh, the pain and the misery. Tonight I share the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced. Scarier than living in a haunted house. Scarier than sleeping in a haunted hotel. No, this experience trumps both in terms of sheer terror.
Tonight I tell you the story of the time…
Good evening! Tonight I continue to provide you, my beloved flock, with gift ideas for those you love the most. We begin tonight with the Cold Steel Gladius Machete. This nifty short sword is 19″ of pure slash and stabtasticness sure to send all but the most tenacious zombies to that giant brain feast in the sky. It’s also made by Cold Steel, which, in case you don’t know, makes products that are damn near bulletproof. I recommend a machete for anyone’s basic tool kit for survival anyway and I have one that’s suited me fine for years. But man, doesn’t this just look sweet? And it’s less than $50!
It’s taking everything I have not to hit that buy button right now. I’m not kidding.
Good evening Minions. Today we begin what I hope will be an ongoing discussion on survival during the zombie apocalypse. You see, the apocalypse is coming and it is not going to be pleasant. How do I know that the dead are going to rise?
It’s because they always do.
Today we celebrate the 165th birthday of Mr. Bram Stoker, author of Dracula. You may click the links for more information on the man and his work. Tonight, however, I’m going to talk about vampires. Won’t you join me as I discuss these creatures of the night?
Good evening my beloved. Tonight we discuss one of the most frightening films I’ve seen in a good long time. Seriously, I saw Sinister on Saturday evening and it’s still messing with me when I go to bed each night. In the sea of pop culture crap that tries to pass as “horror,” this is the real thing.
It’s probably the most anticipated and envy-inspiring show to have come along since Taylor Swift played here.. Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson, two masters of horror, together at last. I set an alarm to buy tickets the morning they went on sale and a little less than an hour later they were sold out. I’ve been looking forward to this… (more…)
