You are getting very sleepy. Your eyelids are getting heavier. As you fall deeper into this trance you will do exactly as I say. Heavier and heavier. Sleepier and sleepier…
Ah. Hello. Here we are in your subconscious mind.
I like it here. It’s very peaceful.
But don’t worry, I won’t stay here long. I have business to attend to. But look over there is a beautiful unicorn being ridden by… Wait, what is that? You, uh…
So, to business, yes? Yes. I think so.
Ok, so down to brass tacks. Scarydad.com is somewhere not unlike your peaceful brain full of unicorns. It is a magical place where we talk about and post pictures of things we like, and you go about reading and looking at said things. It is a wonderful relationship and we love you >——————————-THIS MUCH————————————–< for paying attention.
But we have a teensy problem.
You see, when this project began; after the acid burned off and the poor, doomed doctor removed the bandages, we exploited the hell out of our friends (our real-life, in-person friends) for a few social media bumps. We asked all those who loved us the most to help us out a bit and with a resounding shrug, some of them “liked” the page on Facebook.
Honestly, that’s crack-the-champagne type participation, too.
And we know that people don’t like being inundated with advertising and we understand that. We also understand that you are busy and that we are privileged to have been given a few moments of your time and we thank you for it but…
…It’s difficult to develop content for a quiet audience.
I have stats and graphs that tell me someone is reading this right now. Quite a few someones, in fact. But the comment boxes stay empty, the subscriber list grows very, VERY slowly, and Facebook doesn’t move at all…
And I don’t understand why.
I have to assume that you are afraid of something, and that is good. But not if it’s keeping you from interacting with me. So let me try to set your mind at ease
You won’t receive advertising or spam through email or social media. Someday we might begin to sell advertising to companies we feel our readers will like. We actually have enough traffic to sell advertising now, but we don’t feel it would add value to your visit (and you guys are so quiet) so we haven’t explored that yet. When we do decide to, any advertising will be at-will and on the site. You decide your level of involvement.
We will not spam your email box, your Facebook page, or any other social media touchpoint.
Nobody but me sees your email address, if anyone does at all.
If you are afraid to comment because of the email requirement, don’t worry. That is a spam-filtering widget. You are not subscribing and I do not see that address. It’s just to ensure that the comment boxes don’t fill up with adds for dick pills.
Stupid dick pills…
Call to Action
So this is it. We need to grow. We need to know what you like and what you don’t so we can enhance the site and make it better. We cannot do this without you. At the beginning of this post you noticed the swinging watches. Your Scarydad compels you.
Here goes:
- You must comment on the blog and submit photos of yourself and your friends in costumes.
- You must “Like” and “Share” on Facebook, knowing that the two seconds it takes you means literally dozens of new visitors to our site, and that it will be off your feed within an hour.
- You must subscribe to our mailing list. within the next 24 hours to win a copy of Max Brooks’ World War Z (winner chosen at random at 10:30 tomorrow night [11/30/12] from new subscriptions between blog posting and then)
- You must “Follow,” us on Twitter and Pinterest. The Social Media buttons are at the bottom of post and on sidebars)
Seriously, my beloved Minions, we really need your help.
SNAP!
