Good evening my friends! Tonight I will show you how to construct a wonderfully inexpensive little scarecrow for your yard haunt but first I must thank The Morrigan for stepping up in a time of crisis. You see, your friendly neighborhood Scarydad was attempting to revive something he found in the road and he learned that more electricity is not always the answer to an unresponsive specimen. My electronic portal to your world was temporarily shut down until after “sometime between 12 & 5 PM.”
That portal has been reopened so let’s get to work, shall we?
Halloween is a $6 billion industry because people like you and me love to have a good time. But you don’t have to go broke to have a truly amazing haunt. All you need are a few tools, some easily acquired (often for free) materials, and a bit of imagination.
If you look at the picture above you will see a pile of old clothes, a couple of boards, and a foam pumpkin with a hat on. If you need a foam pumpkin, you can get one this size for around $10 at Michael’s or Hobby Lobby right now. The boards are an 8′ 2×2 and a 2′ 2×2 scrap from Home Depot. The clothes I’ve had for years:
When the costume was retired from band life it went into my Halloween box. The next year it became the scarecrow. I used to hang it on a PVC frame but that stuff is a pain to store and for some reason I always come up missing parts. This year I went authentic.
First, cut your board to the right size. Your upright post will be the size of your scarecrow, as the top of the inside of the pumpkin will rest on the top of the post. Mine is about 6 feet tall, so I cut 2 feet from the board and used that as his arms.
Make your cross by notching your boards. I wanted a slight lift to his left arm so I cut an angled notch in the upright.
Attach the arms to the body with screws and then move on to something really fun…
Cut the other piece of scrap into a sturdy stake, then drive it into the ground. Make sure you use a very heavy sledge hammer to do this because it makes you feel all manly and awesome. Secure your upright to your stake and you will have a naked headless scarecrow. 
Take some time to taunt his unattached head. It may seem cruel, but it is. Don’t worry. He’s not going to get you while you sleep because you were smart enough not to give him legs.
NOTE: If you’re stupid enough to give your scarecrow legs, then skip this step. Just sayin’
When you’ve finished the taunt, put the clothes onto the frame and set the pumpkin head atop the neck. He should be riled up enough at this point to stay scary all the way through Halloween.
And that’s about it. Good night!
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