Hello Minions, it’s that time again. Time for me to offer suggestions for offerings you may make to your favorite mad blogger as, well, I wouldn’t call it a ransom, per se… I guess I’m just saying that we like to keep Scarydad happy around here and the things on this list would go far toward accomplishing that goal.
Ok, first item up this week: The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Alchemy. Now I’m not one to quibble over the sciences. The experiments I perform are pretty straightforward- I gather parts from graveyards, morgues, junkyards, and thrift stores, throw in a little Elmer’s glue and high voltage, and I’m usually done before dinner. The finer sciences, such as Alchemy, I have always left to the experts. After all, if making lead into gold was easy enough for any idiot to accomplish, I would think it would be a closely guarded secret. Not so, apparently.
Oh what to do when Spawn of Scarydad approaches wanting me to help her color more fairies or little ponies or something. Doesn’t she know I’m a dude? Doesn’t she know that zombies are in fashion right now? Well, when I break out the Zombie Coloring Book she sure will!
This one is a little embarrassing. I seem to have misplaced my Post Mortem Bone Saw. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was cutting the top off a skull to make a nice wine goblet, then next I couldn’t find my saw anywhere. I’m thinking maybe one of the things that live in the walls might have taken it, but for what I have no idea.
Finally, I think it’s high time I acquired another sword. This Cold Steel 1917 Cutlass Handle with Leather Scabbard would suit me just fine. I was able to inspect one of these at the renaissance festival this year and I assure you it met with my approval. Feel free to send one right over.
Well, my beloved, that’s it for tonight. Let me know what you think in the comments and send your own ideas and pictures to me at scarydad@scarydad.com
