Good evening! Tonight I continue to provide you, my beloved flock, with gift ideas for those you love the most. We begin tonight with the Cold Steel Gladius Machete. This nifty short sword is 19″ of pure slash and stabtasticness sure to send all but the most tenacious zombies to that giant brain feast in the sky. It’s also made by Cold Steel, which, in case you don’t know, makes products that are damn near bulletproof. I recommend a machete for anyone’s basic tool kit for survival anyway and I have one that’s suited me fine for years. But man, doesn’t this just look sweet? And it’s less than $50!
It’s taking everything I have not to hit that buy button right now. I’m not kidding.
Although my gigging days are over, I still want a cool-looking guitar case so that people will see me walking around with it and ask me if I’m in a band. Then I can tell them I used to be in a band but I left for for super creative artistic reasons. Then they will see my sweet coffin-shaped case and know that I have the heart of a poet.
Seriously though. My case got cracked in the move so when I get a new one I’ll very likely get one of these. It’s just the sort of guy I am.
Moving on…
Ostensibly, this set of 4 Alice in Wonderland Plush toys would be for my #1 minion, Li’l Spawn of Scarydad. But you and I both know that she wouldn’t appreciate them as much as I would. Besides, this morning she walked around pointing at my stuff and claimed it as her own. “Mine!” she said, pointing at my guitar. “Mine!” as she removed my hat from my very head and placed it on her own. “Mine!” as she ran off with my shoe.
So, sorry kid. These little guys are mine.
