The difficulties of being a horror fan with little kids living in the house…

images

Hello there Minions, I trust you are unwell. Tonight I have to discuss something that’s near and dear to my heart: my kids. Specifically, how much I love them and will do anything for them, including being willing to forego my beloved Walking Dead and instead endure endless hours of Curious George.

Spawn of Scarydad doesn’t handle scary stuff very well. The problem is that she wants to watch scary stuff because she knows that I love it, but I can tell that it bothers her. After the Doctor Who episode a few weeks ago, I’ve learned to keep pretty close watch over what comes out of the propaganda machine.  It’s been more than a month and she STILL talks about the scary man-pig on Doctor Who and how when she grows up she can watch it but not yet.

(more…)

“Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors” (1965)

download

“A more exact translation would be terror. An unfortunate misnomer, for I am the mildest of men.”

– Dr. Schreck

Only fans of Horror Cinema might know Amicus Productions. Founded by Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg, their first two films were “It’s Trad, Dad!” (1962) and “Just for Fun (1963), both musicals. These two weren’t the flicks that this film production company would be renowned for. I was referring to their horror anthologies.

In 1945, Ealing Studios released “Dead of Night”, starring Mervyn Johns and Michael Redgrave. Walter Craig (Johns) came to a country house party, where he had been tranced. It was the assembled guests, whom he had seen in his dream. This prompted five of the guests to talk about supernatural events that they experienced, attempting to test Craig’s foresight. This flick, directed by Cavalcanti, Charles Crichton, Basil Dearden, and Robert Hamer, featured five different stories, linked by Craig’s dream. Horror films were banned in Great Britain during World War II, but these four filmmakers relied on uncanny scenarios. This would inspired Amicus to produce their own kind of horror anthology, only to refine what Ealing did.

In 1965, “Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors”, which would be the first of the series, was shown. It featured Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing, who became famous for playing Count Dracula and Professor Van Helsing respectively. Unlike the horror flicks of Hammer Film Productions, these flicks don’t rely on Gothic-inspired production design to elicit fear.

“Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors” would mislead some moviegoers, as this was Dr. Schreck’s term for his tarot cards. He looked like the Grim Reaper upon his arrival in the train station, which his fellow rail passengers didn’t notice. They were Jim Dawson, an architect, Bill Rogers, who came from a holiday, Biff Bailey, jazz musician, Franklyn Marsh, art critic, and Bob Carroll, doctor. These fellows were curious about the cards, prompting Dr. Schreck to tell about their future – and told their stories, accurately,
based from the cards they chose.

Jim visited his former home in an unnamed Scottish isle, unaware of a secret lying underneath the house. Bill, on the other hand, find it hard to leave his house, covered by vine, which had homicidal tendencies. Biff had a gig in the West Indies, where he witnessed a local voodoo ceremony. The music inspired him, such that he copied the melody in a jazz composition he created after his return home. Franklyn’s devastating wit made him a main attraction in art galleries, until he met his match. Last but not the least, Dr. Bob Carroll returned to America with his new French bride. It must have been a whirlwind romance, as he don’t have a clue on where she came from.

Subotsky’s screenplay was no different than Hammer’s feature on vampire (or werewolf, for that matter.) A discerning viewer would overlook Alan Hume’s cinematography, which had a spellbinding effect. It made me believed that something sinister was about to take place. Cushing, in the titular role, looked like a villain from a Grimms’ fairy tale. He was sweet yet dangerous, perfect for the part.

My favourite segment was “The Disembodied Hand”, about that body part that came to life, seeking revenge for a wrongdoing. It seemed absurd whenever I thought long and hard about it, until it dawned on me that this what made Horror Cinema tick. This could be said for the other segments, as well for the succeeding flicks in the series, namely “Torture Garden” (1967), “The House That Dripped Blood” (1970), “Asylum” (1972), “Tales from the
Crypt” (1972), “The Vault of Horror” (1973), “From Beyond the Grave” (1974), and “The Monster Club” (1980). (“Tales That Witness Madness” and “The Uncanny” were part of the anthology, but both were not by Amicus.)

“Dr. Terror’s House of Terror” could have been made ambiguous, like Jack Clayton’s “The Innocents”, the result of which would have been a haunting picture. But the unsettling setting and Lee and Cushing made it up. In other words, it was frightening enough to scare anyone.

Simon Huddart studied Film and Literature, had a stint in a UK essay writing company, and did some freelance jobs in writing and proofreading. He would like to pursue a graduate degree next year. Check out his blog and Google+ account.

Signs that the people around you might be killers…

So you just moved to a new place. There are so many wonderful opportunities to meet new people and make new friends, right? Of course it is. But how do you know if the people that you’re quickly becoming friends with aren’t actually crazy axe murderers? There are so many strange people out there after all. Well, thankfully that’s what the internet is for. Here’s a quick and dirty guide to making sure that the people that you’re surrounding yourself with are for sure not psycho killers!

They Work as a Butler

Butlers are people too, after all. Spending the entire day cleaning up messes that aren’t yours and calling everyone “sir” or “madam” is bound to make even the most reasonable person snap. No one likes mopping, but crazy murderers like mopping up blood!

It’s also common knowledge that “the butler did it”. Be extra careful around people that enjoy wearing well fitted tuxedos and carry a towel draped over one arm. You never know, he could be draping your cold, lifeless body over that same arm in a few days. This is the only occupation that you really have to keep an eye on. This is especially true if they fit into any of these other categories.

They enjoy dark, stormy nights

Most people think that bad weather is lowers the murder rate because who really wants to be outside when it’s raining? Really the only people that are going to be out during dark and stormy nights are murderers.

Keep in mind that most of this data comes from horror movies that have some kind of dark or stormy night, which is all of them. So the next time your friend invites you to a secluded location in the woods during one of those stormy nights it’s best to come up with an excuse.

The joke about getting away with things

Everyone has joked about something that they later regret. But more often than not, these bad jokes can be a glimpse into the soul of the person telling them. If your friend often jokes around about breaking the law, stealing things or killing people, then there’s a pretty high chance that they’re going to go through with it one of these days.

They take forever to change light bulbs

When they eventually invite you to their house you’ll most likely notice that some of the lights seem a bit faulty. A good horror movie wouldn’t be complete without the lights working when they are needed the most. Your friend’s house is no excuse. If you notice that there are lights that don’t work then it’s always a good practice to just start running away as fast as you can.

I hope that you found this list helpful but more than that, I hope that no one you know is exhibiting any combination of the signs that are listed above. In the unfortunate event that someone you know is showing these signs I suggest that you sever all contact with the immediately and consider turning them into the police.

Erika Henrike spends way too much time watching, reading, and thinking about horror stories. She can’t wait until her nephews are old enough to share the experience with her.

Voodoo Curse

IMG_2966

 

Hello there yon’ Minions. I know it’s been a minute since we spoke. Well, I think someone went out and cast a voodoo curse on me. It seems like every time I turn around something else is broken.

Yesterday I had to get a rental because someone hit my car and I had to put it into the shop. Then my work computer was giving me fits so I was on with IT for an hour or so. Then I went back out to the rental and THE TIRE WAS FLAT. I got it pumped up enough to get it back to the place and they gave me a new car. By that time it was late and so I decided to read a couple emails and call it quits. Oh, that’s a useful document, *print.*

Printer stopped working.

Oh yeah, and the present I ordered for my niece’s birthday arrived 2 days after the party.

Sorry I haven’t written much lately but it’s been one of those weeks.

SD

Scary Movie Night: Red Dawn

movie_10518I was seven years old when Red Dawn came out. At the time I was too young to watch scary movies and wouldn’t have even if I’d been allowed to because my overactive imagination would torture me constantly. For whatever reason, war movies were acceptable and I saw many of them. Delta Force, Rambo, Missing in Action 1 and 2… They were all played in heavy rotation at my house. And I realize that three of the four films I used as examples are Chuck Norris films. Being a kid in the 80’s was awesome.

(more…)