The kids got swings for Christmas. The idea was to tie ropes from the giant oak tree out back and they would have hours of fun and so that’s what we did. I borrowed a ladder that wasn’t long enough, then used a wrench tied to the end of the rope and twirled the damn thing all afternoon until I finally got them in place. It was not a fun project at all, but it was worth it to see the smiles on my little minions’ faces.
Then came the squirrel.
I tied the swings up using rope passed through a slip knot, leaving about six inches on the short end to ensure the knots wouldn’t slip. Little did I know that some bastard squirrel was going to chew that rope off right at the knot and use it to make a nest. I saw him doing it and even tried to throw things at him but the branch was too damn high. He got away with the safety end of the rope and I’d been wondering if and when that knot was going to give ever since. It gave on Saturday as Bride swung on it, just a few minutes before the sink collapsed.
Well, since I’d already anticipated the thing breaking, I had a plan in place to get it back up. I went inside, grabbed my bow, then I taped a length of twine to an arrow and then shot that mofo over the branch. Damned if I was going to stand there trying to lob a flippin’ wrench straight up for a half-hour again.
It worked and now Spawn’s swing is fully operational once more.
That’s how we get stuff done around here.
Mine was 1/2 excellent and 50% pure suck. Here’s why.
On Saturday, a bunch of people from work came over and we had a big crawfish boil. Food and drinks were plentiful and everyone had a great time. They even helped clean up such that at the end of it all, Bride and I only had a few dishes and a couple little things here and there to pick up. Then everything suddenly went very, very wrong.
As I was scrubbing a particularly stubborn splotch of
blood cheese off the bottom of the sink, there was a crunch sound followed by the sink collapsing into the cabinet below. Well, not completely, but enough to know that something was totally messed up.
Upon further investigation I discovered that whoever installed the sink merely used glue to mount it to the granite counter top, eschewing any of the clips or mounts or other things that might prevent a sink from collapsing into the cabinetry below.
So, 3/4 + 25% drunk and tired from a day of entertaining, I left it for the morning. But of course, it kept creeping into my mind, as in, “Ah man, what a nice day, such great friends, great food, and a killer buzz. Why do I feel so down? Oh, yeah. That…”
Sunday morning, Bride took Spawn to see a movie and I got to work. Luckily, I had help from my father-in-law. We spent the day cleaning and scraping old glue and silicone from the underside of the granite as well as building supports for the damn thing.
One thing I can say for the people who installed this thing, they at least sprung for the good glue. That stuff took FOREVER to remove. The bastards.
So, after half my day spent leaning over, cleaning old glue from the underside of the counter, and the other half spent inside the cabinet attempting to put screws into places that had an almost cosmic resistance to screws, my back got pretty torqued up and now I’m sitting on an ice pack.
How was your weekend?
Hello there all my good and happy Minions. I trust you’ve all been plotting some mischief lately. Good. Well, when it comes to movies, I’m not always first to the party. My cinematic jaunts are generally reserved for superheroes and my Netflix is so jammed up with kid stuff we had to create a separate profile to search for anything else.
Recently I was stricken by plague and had an afternoon to catch up on some god old scary movies. One of them was Tucker and Dale Versus Evil. Continue reading